i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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