So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
