i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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