There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
