He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
