Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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