Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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