WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
