i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
