Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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