My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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