More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
