My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
