Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
