he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
