In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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