8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
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We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
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who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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