If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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