you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
