dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
