hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
