Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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