I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
