I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
