margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
