Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
