i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
