I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
