im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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