and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
