I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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