Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
