I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
