i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
