i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
