I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
