I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
