a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
