So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
