Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
