Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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