Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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