I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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