id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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