Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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