Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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