Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
