God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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