I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
