i wish my penis had a tongue
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize