Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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