I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
