I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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