After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
not ubering you a puppy
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
