i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
