Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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