I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Everclear isn't food dammit
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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