Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
